Another Buzzfeed post up! The last one got to the front page (what), and currently has over 100,00 views. Craziness.
NOW for the next one. In light of a Spurs victory tonight, I give you (and the rest of the world), 27 People Who Are the Real MVP. Check it out! Let me know what you think! Leave hateful comments like “WORST. LIST. EVER.”
I, like every store that prints little surveys on their receipts and mass blasts them out to everyone and then becomes inundated by data they will never process, eagerly await your feedback.
I’ve started writing some Buzzfeed posts lately for the Community section (it’s a shameless bid for employment at a later stage. Or, more specifically, internship, because I am terrified of being occupation-less on my off-term this winter).
I’m still getting the hang of it. I gif-searched for like 16 hours for my first post. It’s not this post. This one was better, so I’m posting it first, to soften the blow. Enjoy! Here’s a link, if you want to view it on Buzzfeed. The article has links to each song, and includes my minimal and censored witty commentary.
If you prefer the watered-down version, read on.
The Only 39 Road Trip Songs You’ll Ever Need
39. Send Me on My Way- Rusted Root
38. Ways to Go- Grouplove
37. Girls Fast Cars- The Wombats
36. Miracle Mile- Cold War Kids
35. Highway to Hell- AC/DC
34. Life in the Fast Lane- The Eagles
33. I’ve Been Everywhere- Johnny Cash
32. Red Dirt Road- Brooks and Dunn
31. Born to Be Wild- Steppenwolf
“Head out on the highway, lookin’ for adventure.”
What this song lacks in a punny-road-trip title, it makes up for with a Wild Hogs-esque music video and pedal-to-the-metal lyric power.
30. 90 Miles an Hour Down a Dead End Street- Hank Snow
29. I Drove All Night- Celine Dion
28. Shut Up and Drive- Rihanna
27. Start Me Up- The Rolling Stones
26. Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car- Billy Ocean
25. Mud On the Tires- Brad Paisley
24. Mustang Sally- The Commitments
23. Gas Pedal- Sage the Gemini
22. Six Days on the Road- Dave Dudley
21. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)- The Proclaimers
20. Life is a Highway- Tom Cochrane
19. Route 66- The Rolling Stones
18. Radar Love- Golden Earring
17. Ridin’- Chamillionaire
16. Paradise by the Dashboard Light- Meatloaf
This one’s great if you stop for a little roadside hanky panky in the middle of your trip.
15. Ramblin’ Man- The Allman Brothers
14. Greased Lightning- Grease
13. Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard
12. A Thousand Miles- Vanessa Carlton
11. Hitchin’ a Ride- Green Day
10. Fun, Fun, Fun- The Beach Boys
9. Where the Streets Have No Name- U2
8. I Ran (So Far Away)- Flock of Seagulls
7. The Distance- Cake
6. Runnin’ Down a Dream- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
5. Interstate Love Song- Stone Temple Pilots
4. No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn- The Beastie Boys
3. Hit the Road, Jack- Ray Charles
2. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
1. AND FINALLY… Home- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
As a college brat on the trimester system (in fact, Dartmouth has a “D Plan” that is slowly in the process of ruining all college relationships by keeping students on for one summer term and then allowing them one off term of their choice), I have a lot of “breaks” from school. With the exception of my most recent “spring break,” over which I toured Europe in a very un-Stacy-like move, I have returned home for all of my breaks. Even the miserably long one between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. During these breaks, I always tell myself that I will use the time for certain worthwhile pursuits, such as:
1: See high school friends.
I’ve been in New Hampshire, they’ve been in Maine, blahdyblah, star-crossed friendship, impossible circumstances, one-state-divide, etc. The problem with this is that apart from one group chat I have with two friends which we use to update one another on the states of our uteruses, I don’t keep in much touch with my high school friends while I’m at college. They are busy, I am busy, and shockingly, there isn’t generally that much uterine news to report. While I’ll see one or two on each foray back to the homeland, we get together less frequently than one would expect (not to mention, there is nothing to do in my town that beats marathoning Teen Wolf in my bed).
2: Cultivate some skills
There is a sticky on the side of my desktop as I write this with the header, “skills to cultivate.” It includes useful shit such as “cooking,” “sewing,” and “compass and map navigation” (?), but also memorizing the presidents (that’s not a skill, Stacy) and escaping handcuffs. Safe to say, I have learned none of these things over this or any break, though I must admit I have put the most effort into learning to escape handcuffs.
3: Exercise/lose weight/ try paleoveganovolactopescamultisyllabic diet
To my credit, over summer break I lost 13 pounds. I needed to do this, as I had gained a commensurate amount at the start of college, and since my sister then weighed less than me, I could not let such heft continue. Back at school for the fall, I went to the gym once or twice a week, and then proceeded to go to Italy and exercise precisely zero. And eat precisely everything. The problem with this was less gluttony (despite my penchant for fried croissants and gelato) and more the fear of saying no to my host mother, who prepared me positively monstrous portions and tsked her little old italian tongue at me and said “che peccato” whenever I couldn’t finish (what a shame, what a waste). Roman Catholic guilt-weight should be a more heavily explored topic for sure.
4: Read classic literature
I started War and Peace over winter break as a promise to my then-boyfriend. Then-boyfriend had managed to finish it in three days, and insisted that I read it as well. I started it. I made it through part one. I broke up with then-boyfriend in order to escape the horror that was the idea of reading the remaining 800 pages.
If it’s 800 pages of Eragon, let me at it. But 800 pages of badly-translated Russian? Enough to cut ties.
5: Find a job/ internship/ occupation/ apartment/ life plan
I scrolled through the campus jobnet for eleven minutes the other night. I bookmarked some things. That counts.
6: Set your sights high
When I started this post, it was titled “25 things you promise yourself you’ll do every break.” It has since been narrowed down to 10 things. I feel this accurately represents my life.
7: Online flirt with a boy from school
I’m a great online flirter. Facebook chat is my bitch. Texting is my mistress. I crush these things, and when face-to-face interaction is taken off the table for an extended period of time, my crush-inciting ability skyrockets (there’s an inverse correlation between interactions during which I can’t spell-check and/or delete things I say and perceived attractiveness). My prospects, however, remain as bleak as usual, as there are never any boys to Facebook chat. I suspect this is due to me having graduated junior high.
8: Get back on a reasonable sleep schedule
Illusion: I leave behind the days of 3 am to 10:30 am sleeping, resetting my body to a healthy 10:30 to 8:00 schedule that I will adapt to and sustain for the rest of the school year.
Reality: Sleep schedule expands out to fill available space, becomes 3 am to noon.
9: Spend quality time with family
Three minutes into them picking me up someone is always shouting that we’ve made the wrong turn, another is pulling an ill-advised u-turn in an Arby’s parking lot, and someone else is loudly singing in the backseat “Jesus take the WheeeeeEEeeEl.” That last person is me.
10: Wear pants more
This is a lie. I’m ending with a lie. I never intend to wear pants over break.